A Life Defined by Illness
For as long as I can remember, my life was about survival – exactly like all the other stories of transformation.
I was diagnosed with severe eczema, asthma, and a long list of allergies at just two months old. My earliest memories include scratching my skin until it bled, reacting violently to my environment, and navigating a world that felt unsafe. Doctors wore latex gloves to touch me. Hospitals were a second home. I learned to scratch before I could walk.
The shame I carried was constant. Covered in eczema and allergic to nearly everything—dogs, horses, dust, chemicals—I felt broken, guilty, and disconnected. My parents did everything they could, taking me to doctors all over the world. Still, I only got worse. And for decades, that was my story. But hidden inside it was something else waiting to emerge: a story of transformation.
The Illusion of Healing Through Food and Success
In 2013, I channeled my desire to heal into a food business. I wrote a cookbook with allergy-friendly recipes and advocated for a lifestyle I believed could help others. Ironically, I was deteriorating. I felt like a fraud. My appearance didn’t match my message. Then in 2017, I co-founded a new business—only to have it fall apart in a traumatic legal battle.
By 2018, I had a trauma diagnosis. I had stopped sleeping entirely. I was covered in eczema from the knees up. I hit rock bottom. I withdrew from the world, scared of how people saw me, unsure if their stares were disgust or pity. My self-worth crumbled. I battled suicidal thoughts. I had tried everything—doctors, diets, therapists—but nothing worked.
Awakening: Choosing a Different Path
By the end of 2018, something in me decided: Enough.
I had to choose between fading away or forging a new path. In early 2019, I stopped everything and started reading, searching for answers. That’s when Dr. Joe Dispenza appeared in my YouTube feed. It was a pajama party in my London apartment with a video that changed everything.
Something in me knew: this is what’s going to help me.
So I started doing the work.
Meditation and Looking Within
Let me be honest—my first year of meditation wasn’t magical.
I didn’t feel like I was floating in the cosmos.
I was in a tiny apartment, sick, addicted to scratching, stuck in survival mode. But what changed everything wasn’t the meditations themselves—it was the awareness.
Alone with my thoughts, I began to hear them.
When I looked in the mirror, the voice said, “You look horrible.” For a while, I agreed. Then slowly, I began to say, “No, that’s not me anymore.” This shift, though small, marked the beginning of healing. It was the miracle—the shift from fear to love.
It was the foundation of A Course In Miracles, the spiritual framework that underpins all my teachings.
The Power of Consistency and Self-Reliance
I meditated every single day. Sometimes more than once. My nervous system was so wired that I couldn’t go deep. I knew Dr. Joe’s meditations by heart—word for word. So I got new ones to surprise myself, to reach the void. Eventually, I didn’t want to do guided meditations anymore – I just wanted silence.
And I learned something essential: No one is coming to save you. I had always handed my power to doctors, therapists, healers.
Now, for the first time, I was reclaiming it. I wasn’t just surviving—I was awakening.
The Dark Nights Of The Soul & The Turning Point
That first year (2019–2020), I was in a storm. My body was a battlefield. I couldn’t sit still. I scratched my face raw every day. Blood stained my sheets. My apartment looked like it had snowed. I had over 30 symptoms. But I had decided: This is it.
I booked an event in Costa Brava for my birthday in March. It was postponed—twice. Then canceled. I rebooked for London later in the fall. It was postponed—again. I was devastated. But in hindsight, it was perfect. I wasn’t ready. Had I gone, I would’ve scratched through the event, beating myself up for failing.
I had to transform before the event—not at it.
So I set the intention: What if I could heal at home before I ever got there?
The Miracle: A Story of Transformation Unfolds
A few months later, in October, it happened. It was like someone pressed a button. My symptoms lifted. I could sleep—for the first time in my life. I woke up without anxiety, heart palpitations, or pain. I cried tears of joy. This was what no doctor had ever given me.
I used to think I was being punished for something terrible I did in a past life. Now I know: my condition was my greatest blessing. It brought me to this work, to this community, to this truth.
When I finally stood on stage at a Dr. Joe event, I wore the smallest piece of clothing I own—not to show off, but because I could. I had a new body, a new nervous system, a new timeline. I upgraded the character. I upgraded the headset. My story was no longer one of suffering, but of triumph.
Letting Go of Old Stories
Here’s the truth I want everyone to know: your healing is not about the how. It’s not about which meditation you do, which playlist you use, or which method you follow. It’s about why you do it. It’s about how willing you are to let go of your old self.
Let go of the story that says you’re broken. Let go of the belief that someone else has to fix you. Let go of the idea that it’s too late.
You are not your illness. You are not your past. You are the light behind it all.
A New Way Forward
I still do meditate every morning. I still let go of old thought patterns and beliefs, layer by layer. The transformation never stops. But I no longer feel stuck. I no longer feel helpless. I no longer feel like I have to wait for someone to rescue me.
It’s because of mind training – what I do with my eyes open. That’s how I teach others to write their own stories of transformation.
To anyone reading this who feels lost, stuck, sick, or broken: I see you. I’ve been there. And I promise, it can change. If you’re willing to show up for yourself, to listen to your thoughts, to forgive, and to love—you will transform.
This is my story. Yours might be next.
Call to Action
If my story resonates with you and you’re looking for guidance, community, and tools to support your own transformation, come join me inside HELPINGS, my mind training group.
You can also follow my YouTube channel here.
Let’s transform—together.
You are not alone.
