What If: The Question That Lurks in Every Healing Journey
What if it comes back? What if this pain never ends? What if I’ve come so far… only to start over?
If you’ve ever asked these questions, you’re not alone. In fact, it’s one of the most common fears people share with me. Especially those who, like me, have healed or are in the process of healing from years of illness, trauma, and discomfort.
This blog post was inspired by a thoughtful question I received from a YouTube subscriber named Candy.
She asked:
“Since you healed, do you ever worry about your eczema coming back?”
The short answer? Yes.
But the real answer is so much deeper — and it’s tied to the power of belief, thought patterns, and mind training.
What If It Comes Back?
Healing isn’t a switch you flip once. It’s a relationship. And like any relationship, it requires attention, commitment, and patience. After spending over 30 years living in a body that knew nothing but eczema, allergies, and discomfort, I had to accept something: this mind and this body had been wired for illness.
So when I healed, it didn’t mean my nervous system magically forgot decades of survival mode. It meant I had to keep changing my mind every single day to believe in health, softness, freedom.
Even now, years after that pivotal stage moment with Dr. Joe Dispenza, I still catch myself wondering: What if? And that’s okay. It’s human. The trick is not to live in the question — but to meet it with presence, curiosity, and a steady return to truth.
The Fear Behind the “What If”
When we fear that something will return, what we’re often really afraid of is:
- Losing control
- Having to start over
- Feeling shame or failure
But none of those things are truths. They’re just thoughts — thoughts that create an emotional chain reaction that pulls us back into old beliefs.
Your job is to notice those thoughts, greet them with compassion, and gently bring your attention back to a more empowering question:
What if… this is part of the healing? What if… the body is recalibrating? What if… I’m stronger than ever before?
A Lesson from the Park Bench
At one of my lowest points, I remember sitting on a bench in the park. My hands were raw, burning, covered in eczema. The pain was intense. But instead of reacting or resisting, I decided to just… sit with it. I watched my thoughts. I breathed.
After about 45 seconds, the stinging softened. And I cried — not from the pain, but from the relief of realizing I had the power to change my experience just by being present.
That moment taught me something invaluable:
The pain feels real real. But suffering is the story we build around it.
When you meet your pain with neutrality, curiosity, and breath, it begins to shift. And ultimately you learn how to choose with your mind without letting the body call the shots.
Training The Mind Through Discomfort
Another question Candy asked was: “How did you meditate when your skin was burning and itching?”
The truth? I didn’t do it perfectly. It took me a year before I could sit still without scratching. But I kept going. And I trained my mind throughout the day.
At first, I couldn’t focus. The sensations were too loud. But slowly, through practice, I discovered how to calm my nervous system and reach a place both in meditation and with my eyes open where it felt like someone had turned the volume down on my pain. Eventually, I reached stillness where I felt nothing but peace.
That takes practice – don’t expect it when you’re starting to train your mind.
The Real Answer to “What If”
So what if it comes back?
Then I breathe. I sit. I listen. I trust that I’ve been here before and I know the way forward.
Healing is not a straight line. There are dips and curves and spirals. But every time you return to belief — not fear — you strengthen the muscle that holds your healing in place.
Your thoughts do create your reality. That’s not a cliché. That’s quantum. So when you find yourself slipping back into old doubts or fears, return to this:
What if… I’m healing right now?
Because you are.
Keep Believing. Keep Planting.
Every day, I spend time planting new beliefs and nurturing the ones that feel aligned with the life I want. I also tend to the weeds — the doubts, the fears, the sneaky “what ifs” that creep in. I don’t judge them anymore. I just keep choosing better thoughts.
And you can too.
So next time you wonder, “What if it comes back?” I invite you to flip the script:
What if this is the moment you get stronger? What if the next layer of healing is right here? What if… everything is working in your favor?
It’s not just a question. It’s a gateway. And you’re so loved, whether you know it or not.
